You are not.

It hit me yesterday.

I am excessively uncomfortable with doing things I am not great at. Particularly in front of other people.

In the words of a favorite saying featured in a certain Cinderella movie, I let the fear of striking out keep me from playing the game.

For example:
I am really self-conscious about my driving. It took me forever to get my license because I never wanted to practice because I was afraid of making mistakes and embarrassing myself/killing someone. And now that I have my license, I still try to avoid driving.

I'm not athletic. When I was younger, I hated playing tag (unless it was TV-tag, which introduced an element of knowledge, albeit pop culture), and as a child I was that kid who always yelled, "WAIT. TIME OUT!!" when I was about to be tagged. Or faked tripping. I transitioned giggling/gleeful/terrified evasion to whimpering and whining in like... zero seconds.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving with Colin's family. They have a kickball tradition, and OF COURSE I was among the last selected in picking teams (elementary flashback). It made me secretly wish that I was on the women's soccer team so that I could stun them all with my amazing kicking abilities and make them wish they'd picked me first. And it's not like I was the worst at kicking the ball. But Colin was on the other team and made a special (unfortunately successful) effort to get me out whenever I ran for first base. I could not believe it. And I can't catch or throw for anything, so outfield was no chance for redemption. I tried (unsuccessfully) to be a good sport and not be annoyed with him for throwing me under the bus. I tried. But who wants to be the family reunion guest that brings down the team?

And singing. Once upon a time I thought I was a decent singer. Actually, I even thought that I was pretty good. And then I was told otherwise. On multiple occasions and by various persons. So I grudgingly accepted that, and generally tried to rock out with reckless abandon. After all, if I act like I'm not trying and like I don't care, I can't be faulted. This was harder with Irish folk music and church hymns.

Back in November, Colin told me that they have a hootenannie tradition of sorts.
I got excited for this:

picture from here

Because that's what my family calls German pancakes.

This is what he meant: 

picture from here

So pretty much a jam session.

According to Wikipedia, we're both somewhat correct...

Hootenanny is an Appalachian colloquialism that was used in early twentieth century America as a placeholder name to refer to things whose names were forgotten or unknown. In this usage it was synonymous with thingamajig or whatchamacallit, as in "hand me that hootenanny." Hootenanny was also an old country word for "party". Nowadays the word most commonly refers to a folk-music party with an open mic, at which different performers are welcome to get up and play in front of an audience.

"Hootenanny" was also used by the leadership of early firefighting battalions to describe a "meeting of the minds" of higher ups or various department heads. The term has trickled down to working companies and is now used, with some frequency, at working incidents and other circumstances that require a focused discussion between key individuals. Most recently it was adopted for use during the annual Fire Department Instructors Conference. Logistics professionals for the conference employ the word to call together the required personnel needed to accomplish the prodigious assignments placed on them.

So in the end, instead of a buttery egg dish, there were...buttery voices.
And I was like... Man. I wish I could sing. And play the guitar. And things.

SO THE POINT OF THIS POST: 
I am in a class called "Group Voice" this semester, hoping to learn how to not sound bad when I sing. It's probably going to be the hardest class to get an 'A' in for me. (I'm not excellent at practice logs). Every week we have to send our professor a journal update, and this last week he emailed me back, responding to my sentiment, "I’m still nervous, but I’m getting a little excited about the possibility of being able to sing decently."
 He said: And you are singing not only decently, but very well!

Hallelujah.

In the words of another student, "Today I was blown away with the power of practicing. I used to think my singing voice couldn't really get better, it was just something I had to deal with. But know I know how much practice can really influence the quality of my singing voice."

There are so many skills I want to develop. And I'm getting the feeling that it's not too late to try... if only I could make the time!