London Bridge is Falling Down

You want to talk about bridges?
Let's talk about mine:
My fear to fall
And my desperation to climb.....
--------------------------------------------
Tumbling
Fumbling
Often stumbling
This weight feels uneven
Across my shoulders and back.
Let's speak of our travels
Our trials
Our tears
The blows we've been dealt
Through the course of the years.

My bridges are many
Though these bridges be small
They cross tumultuous waters--
I pray not to fall.
We'll talk about bridges,
We'll talk about mine,
The fear I feel,
The drive to climb.

I can't help but reach higher--
It's what I see people do all around--
But my fear of heights
Draws my sight to the ground.
If you're on your way down,
Please, take me, too,
And if you're headed up
Keep me with you.

Just don't leave me
frightened,
Alone with no friend--
Tell me what you want
And that will be the end.
But please,
I beg,
Don't leave me to myself--
I can't enjoy the view
Unless there's someone there
To hold on tightly to.

Laugh with me,
Cry with me,
Take me by the hand--
Let's cross my bridge together
And get our feet back on land.

It's Been on the Radio, It's Been on My Mind

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjhCEhWiKXk

I want a boy like this!! Not the best music video, but most adorable song ever.

Just the Way You Are
Bruno Mars

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same

So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are.

<3

I AM SO TIRED.

Poems of the Blurry Past

Last year was a toughie...and I couldn't talk it through. So I wrote.

To The Mentor

I only want to make you proud--
It's your fault my voice is so loud.
Tell them I'm yours.
Tell them you formed me.
Tell them you'll claim me.
Tell them that I am
The performer
The person
The friend
That you want me to be.

To The Estranged Friend

I can't make you love me,
I can't make you care.
What's left to be determined
Is if I want you there.
Do I want a friend who hurts me?
Do I want to cry?
Can I handle the pain
Of always wondering why?

To Myself

Mind and Matter
Are two different roads.
I feel I've passed the fork,
But am not sure which I chose.

To The Best Friend

Tell me the reason
I feel you're not there when you are.
Explain to me why
I feel you're both here and afar.
It seems we walk together
On two parallel paths
And can't share the road
For the median is too vast.
I feel you're there--
But barely.
You fade from my fingers
And I cannot seem to grasp
Either why you're here or why you're gone--
Our mouths move,
but the question cannot be asked.
More elusive than the question,
the answer can't be heard.
The secrets are too many,
The pains, they run deep,
But I reach for you from habit,
Just like eyelids closing
When embraced by sleep.

To The Boy

I want to know your secrets--
To understand your mind.
I want to discern your fears--
That's why I tell you mine.
I hope you'll open up,
I pray you'll let me in,
But until then
I'll just be here,
Content to be your friend.

Murderer of Hopes, Dreams, and Bunnies

I spent the majority of my day with my ten year old sister. The rest of the family was dispersed doing various activities, and Lindsay and I were left at home. Being super amazing and productive people, we watched TV and spent a lot of time on the computer. BUTTTT before you judge us.... We also did all of our Saturday chores, made ourselves lunch, AND did homework. She did all of hers, and I did most of mine (I get a lot more than she does....). We decided to reward ourselves with a shopping trip! It was raining, but not too atrociously, so we decided to walk. I wore my pink cowboy boots (because I am a cool person). She wore boots, too.... but they have really thin soles and Tinkerbell and are cloth. Not a great selection. Anyway...... we hit up four stores, and all went relatively well. However, Lindsay was getting a little frustrated that I kept telling her some of the trinkets she wanted were too expensive. But she dealt...
THEN CAME THE LAST STORE....
Borders. (I had to show her those really cool journals.... See old post...)
They were selling some Build-a-Bear kits with EVERYTHING you needed all inside a simple box.

Side-note: Lindsay is obsessed with bunnies.

There was a Build-a-Bear Build-a-Bunny on the shelf. I could tell things were going to get ugly. I said, "No," while admitting it was cute, hoping to appease her. Alas... such was not to be. She threw a fit. She wanted that bunny. Not even promises of chocolate could tame her burning desire. I bought the chocolate, anyway. It was good stuff.
We were picked up from the store, and on the way back home I offered a compromise (I'm a fantastic older sister).
I told her that, if she really wanted, she could give me one of her bunnies when we got home, and that I could then proceed to cut a hole in it, pull out all the stuffing, and put in back in. I EVEN threw in the possibility of kissing a little felt heart and tossing it back in the bunny along with the stuffing. She refused. Shows the thanks I get....

Though, in truth, I was actually a little afraid that she'd agree to my plan...... just a little. I would have done it, though, if she'd wanted. Really!!

"Let me tell you this:

If you meet a loner,

NO MATTER WHAT THEY TELL YOU,

it's not because they enjoy solitude.

It's because they have tried to blend into the world before.....

And people continue to disappoint them."

--Jodi Picoult

And my own addition: ...Try not to be the next disappointment on their list.

"Maybe who we are isn't so much about what we do, but rather what we're capable of when we least expect it."
-- Jodi Picoult

"Getting to Know You"

Have you ever filled out a "Get to Know You" questionnaire? I hate them. Actually, that's a strong word... I really really dislike them. I mean, do you really expect me have thought about which superpower I would most like to have? Clearly, from the number of times I've been asked that question in my life, I really ought to have given it some thought! It would be very productive of me. Maybe one day people will be distributing superhero contracts and I'll have to make a decision in a split second, before the agents are swamped and all the good contracts taken. I'd be stuck with "Super Pooper: The amazing ability to control the consistency of your poop-- no runs and no constipation EVER!" Woot, woot..... I wonder what my teacher would think if I put that down for my power...

And if I could meet ANYONE in the world, who would it be? If you give me a profile of everyone in the world and a few years to sort through them all and narrow it down, I may be able to get back to you on that one...If I haven't met them, yet, how do I know whether I want to?? I'm not really into the crazed fan crushes scene... I like the people I know now. Can I just retrospectively pick a few of them??? Please?

AND if I'm filling out this stupid questionnaire because you're trying to get to know me, what makes you think I want to divulge my daydreams and hopes and fears and inside jokes and outside jokes and the tiny details of my life that make me who I am? I'm a rather open person, but still.... A little much, maybe?

So back to this questionnaire... "If I could meet anyone in the world...I would meet...because..."

And the first ellipse is extraneous. A.K.A INCORRECT. Fail.