An abbreviated journal
8/29 My leg muscles are getting far more attention than they ever wanted. dorm at the top of the hill ftw
9/1 WHO IS COLIN S. SMITH?! YOU HAVE BEEN IN VA FOR LIKE...A MONTH. MORMONS ARE SPEEDY... I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR CREDENTIALS TO BE A GOOD BOYFRIEND FOR LAUREN, COLIN. MY QUALMS ARE WITH THE TIME FACTOR. MORMONS KNOW HOW TO GET. IT. ON.
9/3 Guess who left Colin alone with her laptop....
9/3 Dis iz yo gurl l-ryzzle....i shud stoyp leavin my foyne ouyt whyle playan mayn huynt!!!!!!
9/5 i want to call you selfish, except that's not. it's just being.... like selfish....but not for yourself...FRIENDFISH
9/5 I CAN SEE YOUR KNEES IN YOUR PROF PIC. #ASHAMED.
9/6 "I just molested you with my rape whistle"
9/6 "I have bites all over my body. And they're from BUGS... just clarifying."
9/6 Although his French is impeccable, my professor's English has an unmistakably Texan drawl. He is also the lead singer in a bluegrass band. So help me, I just can't escape.....
9/12 While trying to read an article: "Babies make sense to me, but THIS-- this is like science!" I go to a Mormon school.
9/12 Sometimes I conquer those stairs with such agility that I am impressed by my own strength. Other times...... that doesn't happen. Life at The Lofts.
9/13 reading reading big essay reading reading reading big quiz reading reading short exam reading......BLEHHH
9/14 "Lauren, I walked into the room and your music was blaring and there was a new pair of panties on the floor and I was like 'Oh, Lauren must've been here!"
9/19 I love Virginia, but to be quite frank, Michigan has better squirrels.
9/25 I rubbed ice cream on Colin because I'm super mean like that
9/26 ewwwwww monday
9/27 "I am hiding in the shower from my cruel roommates Emma and Lauren. They hate me."
9/29 Dr. Jones: This is Plato; you can tell by the beard.
Student: Did they have razors back then?
Dr. Jones: No, their scooters were decidedly less sophisticated.
10/2 My boyfriend doesn't think that buying American cars is a good investment. We may have a problem
10/4 On a field trip. Like actually. In college.
10/5 I asked Emma if I could still be her roommate after she gets married. She said no.
10/6 Sariah to Emma on the amount of hair in the shower: "There's a lot of hair in here! It looks like it belongs to a small animal.....which i guess you are...."
10/6 almostfridayalmostfridayalmostfridayalmostfridayyyyyyy
10/7 You know your shower is PROBABLY too long when the motion-sensor lights turn off....
10/9 having your own jug of milk means you get to drink straight from the jug. Win.
10/9 (While trying to reach a blanket on my very high bed)
Me: DANGIT! I can't reach! You have no idea how stressful this is
Sariah: Do you want to move it back down?
Me: No.... I like it up high. I just.... I just wish I had the Force.
10/11 "you're the best thing to ever happen to me... Well in terms of girls... I did have a really good burrito once"
10/12 At risk of jinxing myself i would just like to say.... College is NOT that hard. Pretty sure it's easier than high school. Don't tell my professors.
10/12 So you have a bunch of college kids that are too poor to buy medicine. It's coldish and rainy and they stay up late and you shove them all into the same building to live and pee and blow their noses and they all get SICK.
10/12 Emma's paper-writing advice: "I change all my contractions into two words. It really helps."
10/13 Sariah: I keep stepping on your bra, Lauren... it's such a small target, i don't know why i keep hitting it
10/13 Wendy: You look like Colin
Me: Please tell me my boyfriend doesn't look like this
Emma: No. He wears tighter pants.
10/14 (incredulous voice) "Emma are you doing homework?!"
10/16 Sariah: Lauren.... was that you trying to sing, or was that you dying?
10/16 The following conversation occured between my roommate and myself:
Me: You're not at all like I thought you would be like when we became facebook friends
Emma: SAME!
Me: What did you think I would be like?
Emma: Do you know who Eunice is?
If you don't understand this, go watch She's the Man
10/18 My mom sent me a bajillion cupcakes and they are SO GOOD the Freshman Fifteen is imminent! But that's OKAY because then I can just drown my sorrows in the two jars of Nutella that were also included in the package.
10/19 Philosophy midterm??? Uhhhhhh.......
10/20 Today I was just sitting in class mostly paying attention to discussion of judicial review and stare decisis and that's when I realized..... I really miss my debate files.
10/24 RA: "We're on a lockdown. Stay in your rooms for now, but we may have to evacuate."
Me: "Sooo we should probably....."
RA: "Yeah. Put on more clothes."
10/24 Emma: What's up with this? Don't the girls need to be evacuated FIRST? We're the ones that need to repopulate the Earth!
Me: I KNOW RIGHT?? Boys' sperm is like unlimited, but... only SO MANY eggs!!
10/24 So braving the bomb threat was ok and all, but the REAL test of strength and courage.... Who's getting up for their first class this morning? My 8oclock had 8 kids, 4 were on time.
10/25 Professor put grades online. #Obsessing. This is worse than powerschool...
10/26 "Lauren, your iTunes keeps playing french lessons while you are sleeping..... I should get a foreign language credit for this......"
10/27 Sariah has chocolate chip cookies. I have Nutella. This is about to be sinful.
10/28 I can see what's happening....and they don't have a clue. They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line... OUR TRIO'S DOWN TO TWO! Ze sweet caress of twilight, there's magic everywhere and with all of this romantic atmosphere DISASTER'S IN THE AIR...And because she's fallen in love it can be assumed her carefree days with us are HISTORY! In short: Our pal is doomed. Dedicated to Emma, courtesy of her roommates Lauren and Sariah.
10/29 every time i watch any sort of performance and i see people touch.... my heart skips a beat. then i remember that forensics is weird.
10/30 Emma: What did you think I would be like [from Facebook stalking] before you met me?
Me: Well.... first of all, I thought you would be taller...
10/31 Every morning I just SIT for a few minutes and wonder what in the world I'm doing awake so early....
11/1 Writing essay. Found split ends. Found scissors. Fifteen minutes later..... time to get back to essay.
