Lately

I'm in a meditative vegetative state and have been all weekend. All since Friday morning. I'd like to say I've been spending all this time pondering...but I couldn't tell you what about. It seems, instead, I've spent miles of time thinking about nothing--occupied by pushing away the pressing to-do lists, anxiously firing out texts and fidgeting, waiting for replies...Buckling down to do work last minute, wondering what in the world I'm doing, wishing to be elsewhere and wishing that people elsewhere were *here.*

Catch me in a photograph,

Capture me in time.

Hold me tighter than I can bear and,

Please,

Don't you dare let go.

Ima High School Student

When is it okay to just not do your homework?

When is it okay to just not study for a test?

When can you just climb into bed and fall asleep and assure yourself that it's not really that big of a deal?

Is it that big of a deal?

In the long run, sure, one test really doesn't matter...

But what are you cheating yourself of?

In the long run, how much does a few hours of sleep matter?

A few wakeful nights?

A few sluggish mornings?

How necessary is it for me to log out of this and instead of just climbing up into my bed as I desperately desire, to close the laptop and open my textbook?

If, in the long run, neither discrete incident will have any significance whatsoever... what do I do?

Hello, Chained Souls

Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty
Is the face in the mirror looking back at you
You walk around here thinking you're not pretty
But that's not true, 'cause I know you

Hold on baby, you're losing it
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go and no one knows

That you cry but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

I guess it's true that love was all you wanted
'Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change
Hoping it will end up in his pocket
But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain

Oh, 'cause it's not his price to pay
Not his price to pay


Hold on baby, you're losing it
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go and no one knows

That you cry but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

Hold on baby, you're losing it
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go and no one knows

That you cry but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

You're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

Goodbye, baby
With a smile, baby, baby

--Tied Together With a Smile, Taylor Swift

It's back.

That fighting feeling,

That sick believing,

That wanting, yearning,

So disconcerting--

That feeling.

That fighting,

Falling,

Barely-crawling,

Climbing desperation

Of unknown origins.

Scattered senses,

Confused defenses,

Clouded lenses--

Or is that just

Teary eyes?

Slipping into

Who-knows-where

And in the mirror is

Hopefully-not-me,

A figure who

No one

Wants to be.

Turn away the cameras,

Draw the black curtain

To a close,

For what hides behind it

No one ought to know.

Slip into my silent,

Careful reverie,

Cradling against myself

The fragments of

What once was me.

Slide into the shadow,

Sidle against the walls,

Huddle until you hear

The gentle, loving calls.

Look at spilling moonlight,

A beauty you'll never be,

And whisper all the hateful words,

For only that acceptance

May set your own soul free.

Separated from reality

And afraid to be a friend,

It's the blade of your own thoughts

That will surely bring

The End.

You

are NOT

ALONE