It's *all* about SENIORITY

I remember walking through the halls as a freshman. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that I remember trying to walk through the halls as a freshmen. It was always a test of strategic skill just getting from one class to the next. The congested hallways were a fit rival for any freshmen; darting between people moving in the same direction, smashing through people moving in the opposite direction, getting pummeled by packs (yeah, they hang off peoples arms and backs, but that’s about my head level), and smashing through the knots of people that congregate just outside the entrance to the media center. It’s like a feakin’ minefield! The upperclassmen, particularly the seniors, would brag about how a benefit of their seniority was the ease with which they were able to maneuver the hallways; they would say that the way the underclassmen diverted to move out of their way was just like p.a.r.t.i.n.g. the Red Sea. This is just one of the benefits that, having finally achieved that SENIOR status, I finally get to enjoy.

…Except that I don’t, actually. So nix THAT!

The truth is that I haven’t grown since junior high. This means that as a senior in high school I am, sadly, the same height as I was way back when I was a freshmen. Think of my height as the “control” of this grand experiment and allow me to conclude that the ease with which one is able to navigate the school hallways ought to be attributed not to senior status, but to SIZE. And as far as size goes…Well. I found out recently that I am in the 27th percentile for the height of adult women. And that isn’t likely to change. And it’s not like I’m a fierce and intimidating persona compressed into a tiny container, either! Were that the case, maybe this sea of students would separate! Maybe if I was more intimidating I could get through with greater ease? Maybe if I painted black on my cheeks like football players? Or packed some pounds over my glutes and got some swagger? Maybe if I was gangsta? Maybe if I was hipster? Maybe if I held my books to my chest, ducked my head, and RAN??? Maybe combat boots? I guess the skinny jeans and flats just aren’t cutting it! Maybe by the end of the year…?