Hey, Big Spenda

I figured that if I bought cute running shorts, I would be motivated to run.

So I bought cute running shorts.

Let the exercise commence...


Soon. (ish)

Real World

When I went job hunting at the mall, I guess that I'd forgotten about the real world. Getting ready for eight o'clock classes at school involved as little preparation as possible. I basically lived in the basics. Jeans and V-neck tees. That is what I wore job hunting. Jeans, a V-neck tee, cute flats, and neat make-up done in natural colors- a minimalist approach. Make-up was a rarity in college, and my hair was up as much as it could be so that I wouldn't have to deal with it, but for job hunting I went the extra step and straightened it!

Then I got to the mall.

My senses were assaulted (ok, mostly just my eyes, but I liked the alliteration) by bright colors and cute trends. Trends. I'd forgotten about those. Styles. Fashion. I felt terribly unprepared.

I think I like the college world better.

We Meet Again...

While I did say that it was an "End of Orientation Dance," Orientation wasn't quite over. Our orientation groups assembled the following morning, first to learn about the honor code in a meeting on the lawn in front of Main Hall, and then to perform service projects in downtown Buena Vista (BV).

The front of Main. The speakers were on the steps and all the new students sat on folding chairs.

After all the speeches concluded, my group helped put away the chairs, and then shuttled up to the dorm to get our wallets (so we wouldn't have to take the time to climb the aforementioned hill), and then shuttled on downtown, where we picked weeds to beautify the streets in preparation for the Labor Day Parade. (I learned later that Colin's group just helped put away chairs and considered that the extent of their "service.")

There was a lot going on in downtown BV that day.

This is downtown BV. And a beautiful friend who, while a lovely person, is completely irrelevant to my story.

To thank us for helping out, as well as to advertise, business in BV were offering special discounts to SVU students. I went to lunch at the local Italian restaurant ("the" being singular, because there's only one...) with a couple friends from the group. Kasia is kind of a big deal in this story, so I will show you her.

This is me with Kasia. She lived next door and was in my orientation group.

So I ate lunch with Kasia and Josh, and then we went to Battle of the Bands in a nearby yard. I looked absolutely disgusting, by the way. I was wearing ill-fitting jeans and the bright green orientation t-shirt, accented with grimy streaks from weed-pulling fun.

Orientation T-shirts! (And just hangin with my roomie...)

And Colin was at Battle of the Bands! While he hadn't made it down for the service, he did manage to be there to jam out. Kasia and I decided to see if he had made good on his promise to remember all of our names. He managed to prove himself (and possibly guarantee himself a couple more votes for Freshman Class President in the process). So Colin was hanging out with a group of guys from his orientation group ahead of us. Kasia and I were both kind of checking out this fine fellow in Colin's group, Patrick.

Patrick. Also answers to Pattycakes and P-Nasty.

We were clapping along to the music, but when boy-whose-name-we-didn't-know smiled, Kasia's clap got a little delayed and totally off-beat. It was embarrassingly funny.

When Colin was over talking to us, Kasia asked him if he could introduce his friend (Patrick) to us. Colin's man-ego sprung a bit of a leak, and that's how Kasia got dibs on Pattycakes, who had JUST gotten back from his mission. So Colin called the tan, well-dressed guy over, and the four of us started talking. It was around the middle of the afternoon.

The First Encounter.

So. You know this kid?

He's been on here a time or two before.

I met him on this night:

It was the end-of-orientation dance. August 26th. But, no, we're not THAT cliche--- we didn't meet at a dance. pshhh... no offense to those of you who HAVE met your significant other that way, of course. It wouldn't be a cliche if it wasn't adorable! And note that I didn't say Colin and I aren't cliche, just that we aren't THAT cliche. We met after the dance. Here's my version (the accurate version) of the story:

My friends and I were walking back to our dorm from the Student Activities Center where the dance was held. Colin and his buddies had just escorted a different group of girls all the way up those obnoxious stairs and were heading back towards the rest of campus. They hailed us, "Good night beautiful young daughters of God!" Just corny. EFY corny. Of course, Colin was the one that yelled that out. I responded with, "What, you're not going to walk us up the hill, too?!" It's funny because... walking up the hill twice would suck. 

The infamous stairs.

But anyway, the guys met us at the corner by the stairs. Lax bros. They introduced themselves. Mack, Garrett, Colin, Jake... So many faces. And it was dark. And they were awfully sweaty. Colin told us that he's an eagle scout and is running for freshman class president. And that we should vote for him. Pompous, right? Or "confident." We all talked. I said that I'm from Detroit, and that's why I'm so thug. I did a Girls' Camp rap to prove it. They weren't buying. Colin performed a rap, too. It was mediocre. Mine was clearly superior. But I thought... this boy is confident and cocky and running for Freshman Class President. I want him to like me. Colin promised to remember all of our names. I doubted his abilities. But he was majorly networking back then. Anyway, sweaty hugs around and we parted ways. For the time being.

Second Semester Highlights

(It's highlighted white from all the copy/pasting from Facebook)


1/2 The elder missionaries came to my house today. They met my family and guessed that I am the third oldest of the kids here (younger than Jake and Ben), and that I am sixteen. They guessed that Rebekah is fifteen. STORY OF MY LIFE.
1/3 (Before my roommates were back from break) Emma and Sariah: THERE ARE SHORT DARK MYSTERIOUS HAIRS ON OUR SINK AND IN OUR SHOWER AND NO ONE IN OUR ROOM HAS DARK HAIR. OR SHORT HAIR. I AM SLIGHTLY SICKENED AND SOOOO CONFUSED
1/8  "i think she should just bring room 105 cake. I mean celery."

1/6 (from Emma) 'So I found out, that when I get ready by myself I take a lot longer. I was sitting on the toilet for the longest time. I thought to myself, "Oh yea, I forgot I'm here..." ' -Lauren 

I. Love. Roommates.

1/16 Shooting tampons with Sariah's nerf gun. Room 105 FTW.
1/25 As Sariah leaves to go to Body Attack:

Emma: Bye guys! Burn lots of cals!
Me: Emma, I hope you say that to your teenage son when he and his friends are leaving your house to go to soccer practice. 
Emma: SOCCER PRACTICE?! Come on! Where do you think I'm from??!
Me: OK FINE! FOOTBALL PRACTICE
Emma: Fooooooooooooootballllll
Me: yeah, ok Sandra Bullock

1/28 Emma: NO. Jesus Cookies can't go bad! Isn't that an oxymoron?

Me: Yeah. They have too many conservatives. Is that the right word?
Emma: Conservatives....Consumeratives.....
Me:.......PRESERVATIVES!

1/28 Emma: I'm so hungry. I haven't eaten in FIVE HOURS. Do you know how long that is?!

Me: ...Five hours.
Emma: Oh.

1/28 Sariah: "I don't hate you I just wish your next period would start in a shark tank."

Lauren: "That's from pinterest she is not that creative."

1/29 Emma : Is this grape ok? I hope I don't get food poisoning. If I get diarrhea you better hold my hair back.

2/2 "Hey, I'm busy cutting split ends and blogging. My mind is a little consumed." --Emma 

2/5 Emma, on shedding copious amounts of hair: "I'm secretly saving up all this hair and I'm going to sew myself an alpaca suit."

2/8 Emma: they have their own secret language. Kind of like we do. 

Me: we do?
Emma: yeah. It's like an "i hate you your mother sucks" kind of thing.
2/11  "Man, I love Mormons. It's a Friday night and the rest of the universities in the country are throwing keggers. What are we doing? Learning Irish Step Dancing and eating ice cream sandwiches. Instead of booze we're experiencing authentic Fijian drinking ceremonies with strawberry lemonade" --Cassi 

2/22 I think that the two saddest parts of my day are when I set my alarm for the next day..... And then when I wake up to it.

2/28 Why is it that I am unable to find a decent biography about this author, but easily found his horoscope and astrological profile? Heck, there's even an option to find our astrological compatibility.

3/1 Me: Stop laughing when I start dancing!

Emma: I was crying!
Me: Even better.

3/1 My internet is refusing to load things. It's frustrating. May or may not be related to the 86 tabs I currently have open.

3/11 (from Rebekah) This is an example of conversations at my house:

Lindsay is acting strange
Me: Mom, whats wrong with her?
Mom: She's related to you.
Me: What's wrong with me?
Mom: You spend far to much time with your sister. (Lauren)
Me: What's wrong with her?
Mom: (in a very serious voice) No one really know's....she's a mutant.

3/17 A car drove past my roommate and me as we were walking up to the Lofts. She bet me one load's worth of laundry detergent that it was also going to the Lofts, and had totally just passed us by. I accepted her bet. But she was right. Red Chrysler, license plate 035 VPZ.... we saw you drive up that hill.

3/23 "They're good roommates; they work out together. We're good roommates cuz we eat a lot together." -- Emma 

4/6 "you're not feeling the sense of paranoia I would like you to leave with today"

"everyone's going to be wiped out with hot dogs and bologna"
Environmental science

4/12 (from Colin) Lauren is so ghetto. She has to return a book, so instead of photocopying the pages she needs, she is taking pictures of them on her phone. I can tell she is from Detroit...

4/18 I fear that I have seriously over-estimated my last-minute paper-writing abilities.... Two due tomorrow. One is a fifteen-page rough draft in need of editing. The other I have yet to begin. 

Also, chef boyardee could use some serious variety expansion. Spaghetti and meatballs, beefaroni, and beef ravioli are all the SAME THING!

4/19 Colin is cooing over youtube videos of baby animals. He has decided that he no longer wants to be a historian; he would like to be a veterinarian. You should see his grin.

Virtual Scoreboards

I figure that there are two ways to improve your ranking for online games in which you compete against friends and acquaintances, such as with Facebook's Tetris.
The first is to keep playing it, improve your skill, and increase your score.
The second way is to unfriend everyone who outranks you.

Personally, I am leaning toward the latter.

Why Being Short Increases your Water Bill

Earlier this week I was standing in the shower, lamenting how it takes FOREVER to get my hair thoroughly wet.
I have pretty short hair. It's a little longer than chin-length, and although definitely not thin, it's not all that thick....
I've generally blamed the length of my hair (it used to be prettyyy long), its relative thickness, or the lack of water pressure for why my showers are so long and my hair takes incredibly long to get wet.
But this week... a new variable popped into my mind....

IT'S BECAUSE I'M SHORT.

I am five feet and three inches tall. And I haven't grown for roughly six years. My sister, five years younger than me, is three inches taller at 5'6".
The average female in the U.S. is between 5'4" and 5'5".

Now think of a showerhead. Think of the water dispersal. The streams are higher in pressure and closer together the closer to the showerhead you get.

Here's a picture:

And now here's a diagram explaining my logic:

Compare the surfaces of impact for each head. The taller one is getting more water at a higher pressure than the shorter one (mine!). And while this obviously isn't to scale, I think you get the picture. (PUN ALERT!)

So I stood up on my tip toes and moved myself a few inches back. There was actually a noticeable difference!

I'm never showering on the flats of my feet again!

Not only will I save money on the water bill... but I will also develop some killer calf muscles.