My Hiking Boots Were Not In My Room

Me: Why are my hiking boots in here??

Rebekah: Because I used them for 7th grade camp

Me:... Why are my hiking boots STILL in here?

Rebekah: Because I'm Lazy and Forgetful!!

Rebekah: ......If you want me to be completely honest.....

Grad Party Tomorrow....

The Good News: The family room is getting cleaner!

The Bad News: The cleanliness of the basement is correlated negatively with the cleanliness of the family room, a linear relationship with an r value of approximately -.8.

In other words... The basement is not getting cleaner.

Isn't it Ironic

That the person that makes it easier to breathe....

....Is the one that takes your breath away?

A Letter to my Cousin

Yes. My cousin and I are snail-mail buddies. We have resurrected our 12-year-old selves. Or are in the process of so doing. Sorry, MaryAnne, if you see this before you get the letter itself.... This is actually basically an excerpt...

So you talked about how you've learned a lot about life this year. I feel like I've learned a lot about death. It's just never seemed so close... If someone close to me were to die, I know exactly who I would run to for comfort-- but what if that person were to die? I don't know what I would do...It's a paradox because I actually look forward to death--not that I'm looking to die anytime soon, but I am excited to see people who have touched my life and to try to teach people that I couldn't or didn't in this life. I hope that when friends of mine are taught, they can think of me, and think that I was a rational, reasonably intelligent and happy person-- and that perhaps there's something there-- and give it a shot.

So dying shouldn't be so bad. It's the being left behind that's hard to sort out. I suppose that if you rely on the Lord more than you rely on those around you it should be easier to get through the departure of those around you, but... that's so much easier said than it is done. That takes a lot of work and courage. I think of meeting up at the Tree of Life and looking for someone who just isn't there. But even now, in this life-- how much happier could they be if they would trust, then believe? Of course, I'm not the exemplary believer, but still. Maybe they would be.

Ima Rapper

My rapping talents went unappreciated by my audience. So, rather than alter the lyrics, Ima just change my audience. I hope you can appreciate my lyrical ingenuity. ;) (Do rappers use emoticons?? Or multiply their punctuation? Word.)

EMINEM:

And you can never break my stride, never slow the momentum

at any moment I'm about to blow.

You'll never take my pride, killing the flow, slow venom and the

opponent

is getting no mercy, mark my words ain't lettin' up, relentless, I smell

blood

... where was you when i fell and needed help up?

L-HAFES

Where was I? Boy I can see that you ain't let

go of your pride

cuz I was standin in line with all the people that was

tryin to help you up

but fool you was so prideful that you wouldn't look up,

wouldn't let anyone in, couldn't see the love.

I'm going places. But I do still need to learn how to correctly punctuate and incorrectly articulate. Those grammar shenanigans are hard to catch on to.

Dear Michigan,

Today was my last day of school. May 26th. That means that it is officially Summer Vacation. So. Why did I go to school today wearing a sweater AND a jacket? Why is it 56' with very cold rain? Answers appreciated.

Sincerely,

Lauren

P.S.- If you would not rain on June 17th I would be MUCH obliged.

Dear Kind Stranger, You Made My Day

Text conversation goes as follows:

Random phone number: Talked to district office and understand you did also.

Me: Who is this?

Random phone number: Les Connolly*

Me: Sorry, I think you have the wrong number!

Random phone number: Scott Moore**?

Me: Nope!

Random phone number: Sorry.

Me: Not a problem

Random phone number: One digit off. My bad. Stay dry.

[NOTE: It has been POURING rain all day. And I mean POURING.]

Me: I wish....

[NOTE: This was not long after I had walked part-way home from school. Got pretty wet.]

Random phone number: Summer will be here. Anytime you want to talk, you have my number.

Me: I do! Have a lovely evening

Random phone number: Thanks. You too.

*Name has been changed to protect the identity of this person who mistakenly entrusted me with his identity and phone number

**Name has been changed to protect the identity of this person whose name and mysterious district office visit have been given to me without their knowledge or consent.

Confessions:

1. I searched "Les Connolly" on Facebook. I just wanted to see who he was. And I found him. I did not, however, friend him. (STRANGER DANGER)

2. I did save his number to my phone. What? He practically told me to....

This is the best "wrong number" conversation I've had. Following close behind is the person I accidentally texted a hotel name and address to (not sketch at all...) and in hot pursuit the lady from a company who was trying to contact the person who used to have my phone number (NOT Scott Moore) and enjoyed my voicemail greeting. That one made me feel good inside. It was a good greeting. I miss that one.